H'okay. So I am uberly duberley positively bored out of my small insignificant mind. Since I am this outrageously bored I have decided to post a funny journal entry that will hopefully help you in catologuing your shit. literally.
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The Poopie Categorization List:

THE GHOST POOPIE
The kind where you feel poopie come out, see poopie on the toilet paper, but there's no poopie in the bowl.

THE CLEAN POOPIE
The kind where you feel poopie come out, see poopie in the bowl, but there's no poopie on the toilet paper.

THE WET POOPIE
You wipe your tushie fifty times and it still feels unwiped. So you end up putting toilet paper between your tushie and your underwear so you don't ruin them with those dreadful skid marks.

THE SECOND WAVE POOPIE
The poopie that happens when you've finished, your pants are up to your knees, and you suddenly realise you have to poopie some more.

THE BRAIN HEMORRHAGE THROUGH YOUR NOSE POOPIE
Also known as "Pop a Vein in your Forehead Poopie". You have to strain so much to get it out that you turn purple and practically have a stroke.

THE CORN POOPIE
No explanation necessary.

THE LINCOLN LOG POOPIE
The kind of poopie that's so enormous you're afraid to flush it down without first breaking it up into little pieces with the toilet brush.

THE "GEE, I REALLY WISH I COULD POOPIE" POOPIE
The kind where you want to poopie, but even after straining your guts out, all you can do is sit on the toilet, cramped and passing gas.

THE WET CHEEKS POOPIE
Also known as the "Power Dump". That's the kind that comes out of your tushie so fast that your cheeks get splashed with toilet water.

THE LIQUID POOPIE
That's the kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your tushie, splashes all over the side of the toilet bowl and, at the same time chronically burns your tender poop-chute.

THE MEXICAN FOOD POOPIE
A class all it's own.

THE CROWD PLEASER
This poopie is so intriguing in size and/or appearance that you have to show it to someone before flushing.

THE MOOD ENHANCER
This poopie occurs after a lengthy period of constipation, thereby allowing you to be your old self again.

THE RITUAL
This poopie occurs at the same time each day and is accomplished with the aid of a newspaper.

THE GUINNES BOOK OF RECORDS POOPIE
A poopie so noteworthy it should be recorded for future generations.

THE AFTERSHOCK POOPIE
This poopie has an odour so powerful that anyone entering the vicinity withing the next 7 hours should where a full body hazmat suit.

THE "HONEYMOON'S OVER" POOPIE
This is any poopie created in the presence of anoteher person.

THE GROANER
A poopie so huge it cannot exit without vocal assistance.

THE RANGER
A poopie which refuses to let go. It is usually necessary to engage a rocking or bouncing motion, but quite often the only solution is to push it away with a small piece of toilet paper.

THE PHANTOM POOPIE
This appears in the toilet mysteriously and no one will admit to putting it there.

THE PEEK-A-BOO POOPIE
Now you see it, now you don't. This poopie is playing games with you. Reguires patience and muscle control.

THE BOMBSHELL
A poopie that comes as a complete surprise at a time that is either innappropriate to poopie (i.e. during a root canal or intense laughter) or you are nowhere near pooping facilities.

THE SNAKE CHARMER
A long skinny poopie which has managed to coil itself into a frightening position
Usually harmless.

THE BACK TO NATURE POOPIE
This poopie may be of any variety but is always deposited either in the woods or while hiding behind the passenger side of your car.

THE PEBBLES-FROM-HEAVEN POOPIE
An adorable collection of small poopies in a cluster, often a gift from God when you actually CAN'T poopie.

PREMEDITATED POOPIE
Laxative induced. Doesn't count.

POOPIEZOPHERENIA
Fear of pooping - can be fatal!

ENERGIZER vs. DURACELL POOPIE
Also known as a "Still Going" poopie.

THE POWER DUMP POOPIE
The kind that comes out so fast, you barely get your pants down when you're done.

THE LIQUID PLUMBER POOPIE
This kind of poopie is so big it plugs up the toilet and it overflows all over the floor. (You should have followed the advice from the Lincoln Log Poopie.)

THE SPINAL TAP POOPIE
The kind of poopie that hurts so much coming out, you'd swear it's got to be coming out sideways.

THE "I THINK I'M GIVING BIRTH" POOPIE
Similar to the Lincoln Log and Spinal Tap poopies. The shape and size of the poopie resembles a spray paint can. Vacuous air space remains in the rectum for some time afterwards.

THE PORRIDGE POOPIE
The type that comes out like toothpaste, and just keeps on coming. You have two choices:
a) flush and keep going
b) risk it piling up to your tushie while you sit there helpless.

THE "I'M GOING TO CHEW MY FOOD BETTER" POOPIE
When the bag of Doritos you ate last night lacerates the insides of your rectum on the way out in the morning.

THE "I THINK I'M TURNING INTO A BUNNY" POOPIE
When you drop lots of cute, little round ones that look like marbles and make tiny splashing sounds when they hit the water.

THE "WHAT THE HECK DIED IN HERE?" POOPIE
Also sometimes referred to as The Toxic Dump. Of course you don't warn anyone of the poisonous bathroom odour. Instead, you stand innocently by the door and enjoy the show as they run out gagging and gasping for air.

THE "I JUST KNOW THERE'S STILL A POOPIE DANGLING
THERE" POOPIE
Where you just sit there patiently and wait for the last cling-on to drop off because if you wipe now, it's going to smear all over the place.

THE RACING STRIPE POOPIE
The kind where you lean back on the toilet and you slip off, leaving a racing stripe behind you.

COWBOY POOPIE
The poopie that you have to jump up and down to get out.

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I really hope you enjoyed the Poopie List and had a good laugh. Personally I almost delivered a serious Bombshell Poopie when I read this. I have never cried so hard from laughter in my life.